The injunction to be nice is used to deflect criticism and stifle the legitimate anger of dissent.
from: Malcom Gladwell Author of The Outliers
Of of the personal functions of this blog is to write out the thoughts in my head. While not every thought is important nor suitable for publication, I get an opportunity to reflect and reconsider.
Several posts ago, I wrote about sarcasm and wit. Upon reflection, I have a caveat to that post: Don't step on someone's bliss and don't be a bully. In the previous post, I went to Churchill's "you will still be ugly" quote, but that quote was a response to a bully.
If a person is doing his or her own thing and it is not hurting anyone, don't be mean. In the words of Mann and Weil:
Nobody can tell you there's only one song worth singin'
They might try to sell ya 'cause it hangs them up to see someone like you
"Make Your Own Kind of Music"
It hangs them up. It is more a reflection on the people being mean. Mean people suck.
I briefly taught a student who was just mean. He came into the office bragging how he got an employee from his school removed because of how the person dressed. I do not know how she dressed. His utter meaness resulted in the woman needing to find other employment and the job she had didn't pay that much money. I asked not to teach him anymore. There are many ways to stand up to a bully without having to fall on a sword. Removing yourself from the bully's orbit is one way.
Malcolm is right; people use admonitions of "be nice" to stop constructive criticism. However, standing up to bullies is something to which we should all strive. A person who likes big band music, soviet propaganda art, plaid pants, mismatched fingernail polish, recycled clothes, piercings, origami, politeness, sneakers, video games, romance novels, grave rubbings, lego, bird watching, and anything out-of-the ordinary that doesn't hurt himself, herself, or others knows bliss. Don't be mean.
When I was young, my mother took my sister and I to see "Free to Be You and Me." It was aligned with our Unitarian beliefs so it was very much "preaching to the choir." There is one song in the show, "William's Doll," about a boy being made fun of because he wanted a doll. That was his bliss and it took his wise grandmother to say it was okay.
I have a criticism to make about this song. I haven't read the lyrics in a long time and reviewing the words made me sad. The reason why it is okay for William to have a doll is because
William wants a doll
Gratitudes: Cartridges for fountain pens, balconies, and banana milk.
from: Malcom Gladwell Author of The Outliers
Of of the personal functions of this blog is to write out the thoughts in my head. While not every thought is important nor suitable for publication, I get an opportunity to reflect and reconsider.
Several posts ago, I wrote about sarcasm and wit. Upon reflection, I have a caveat to that post: Don't step on someone's bliss and don't be a bully. In the previous post, I went to Churchill's "you will still be ugly" quote, but that quote was a response to a bully.
If a person is doing his or her own thing and it is not hurting anyone, don't be mean. In the words of Mann and Weil:
Nobody can tell you there's only one song worth singin'
They might try to sell ya 'cause it hangs them up to see someone like you
"Make Your Own Kind of Music"
It hangs them up. It is more a reflection on the people being mean. Mean people suck.
I briefly taught a student who was just mean. He came into the office bragging how he got an employee from his school removed because of how the person dressed. I do not know how she dressed. His utter meaness resulted in the woman needing to find other employment and the job she had didn't pay that much money. I asked not to teach him anymore. There are many ways to stand up to a bully without having to fall on a sword. Removing yourself from the bully's orbit is one way.
Malcolm is right; people use admonitions of "be nice" to stop constructive criticism. However, standing up to bullies is something to which we should all strive. A person who likes big band music, soviet propaganda art, plaid pants, mismatched fingernail polish, recycled clothes, piercings, origami, politeness, sneakers, video games, romance novels, grave rubbings, lego, bird watching, and anything out-of-the ordinary that doesn't hurt himself, herself, or others knows bliss. Don't be mean.
When I was young, my mother took my sister and I to see "Free to Be You and Me." It was aligned with our Unitarian beliefs so it was very much "preaching to the choir." There is one song in the show, "William's Doll," about a boy being made fun of because he wanted a doll. That was his bliss and it took his wise grandmother to say it was okay.
I have a criticism to make about this song. I haven't read the lyrics in a long time and reviewing the words made me sad. The reason why it is okay for William to have a doll is because
William wants a doll
So when he has a baby someday
He'll know how to dress it, put diapers on double
And gently caress it to bring up a bubble
And care for his baby as every good father
Should learn to do
Why shouldn't it be okay for William to want a doll only for the reason that IT MAKES HIM HAPPY? Why does there need to be a "socially acceptable" reason for his father to agree to get the kid a doll?
The clue to this may be in the lyrics of the title song.
To a land where the children are free
And you and me are free to be
These lyrics imply that people are not in that land now. We are still not in that land now.
Be critical of yourself and others. Call out mean people. Be kind to those who are different.
And when someone tells you to "be nice" when you are calling out a bully, tell them off as well.
Gratitudes: Cartridges for fountain pens, balconies, and banana milk.
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