Reaching Beyond - Martin Seligman - The Thankless Job of Being an Example

Reaching beyond where you are is really important.

attributed to: Martin Seligman

Dr. Seligman is the Professor of Happiness. And I need a dose of that right now.

I tell my students: "If it was easy for you to do, you'd have already done it." I do a lot of work with under-performing students. Each of them has a personal reason for underperforming, but normally it comes down to fear.

However, while they have been living in the fear, certain behaviors have become habitualized. Watching Netflix, Facebooking, getting sucked into click-bait.

Unfortunately, the students behavior also trains those around them. Yes, parents should not bend to the ineffectual and, perhaps, harmful actions and desires. But they often do. Parents look at is a 'picking battles,' which only cements the behaviors on both sides.

I am in that position myself right now. My partner and I were complacent with our careers. It would have been joyous if we both woke up one morning, looked at it each other, and said, "Let's maximize life!" Cue the upbeat background music.

But, it was I who woke up and said it to myself. So, I have a partner who I have trained to whistle away time. I have to remember my own advice and know that if it was easy whisk away all of the bad habits, I would have already done it. Also, if it was easy for me to support my partner in a change (or talk into a change), I would have already done it.

For now, I am settled on keeping myself in action and being an example. I tried to find a good quote about this situation to motivate me. "Keep your eye on the goal while all others are fouling." "Only you can decide what you do." "The early leaver gets the first Uber." Argh. I could have kept search for a more on-target quote for what I am feeling, but I've got work to do today.

Time to make the donuts!

Gratitudes: Quality socks, fresh fruit, toasters.

Comments

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